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Guatemala Lite

Note: If you haven’t seen the film Apocalypto, intend to, and don’t want me to ruin it for you, don’t read this.

“Do you have any money? I wanna spend all your money…”

“Sleigh bells ring, are you listening…”

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…”

“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…”

Welcome to San Francisco a month before Christmas.

"Oh, Sam."

New Zealand’s a sensible sort of a place.

Walk in with foreign mud on your boots and they don’t fine you, lock you in jail or burn them from your…

Crabs, coconuts and cold-blooded murder

Imagine you were a crab.

You’d spend a lot of time scuttling sideways and waving your pincers around. You’d enjoy the odd dip in the sea and – if you were a hermit crab, at least – you’d sashay down to the mollusc graveyard to check out the latest styles.

And, every…